Not All Bad Employees Should Attend Barber College

This disclaimer should not really be necessary, but my lawyer advises me that it is always better to be safe than sorry. (Bad advice everywhere else, but good advice when it comes to the legal system.) So here it is: when you fire someone, do not ALWAYS advise them to go to barber college. Some bad employees have really unsteady hands, and are unethical to boot, and cannot be trusted with scissors in their hands.

Morgan Is a Doofus, and Not a Good Barber

Strangely enough, Morgan did in fact become a barber, a bad one, but a barber nonetheless. He got his barber's license at barber college, but he never did get a chance to cut an actual head of hair outside of a few mannequins, before I had to eliminate him. This is probably lucky for the residents of Jasper because it's well known that Morgan had the shakes from years of alcohol abuse.

There's Always Barber College

Whenever you fire some dude who doesn't have the right temperament for the trade, be sure to remind him: "There's always barber college."

This will help make him less enraged AND less likely to threaten your life.

Usually.